Football hates

[Tredder]

Grown men (specifically over 40) that spend most of the game, gesticulating at opposition fans, rather than watch the game.
Grown men (specifically over 40) that wear a football shirt with anything printed on the back.
Garth Crooks

[BraisingsteakRoyal]

Contemporary pitch mowing that wouldn't look out of place at the Chelsea Flower Show.
Cringeworthy use of social media (Pavel Pogrebnyak Desktop Wallpaper)
Mong fans waving at the camera when a throw in / corner is taken in front of them.
Mong fans giving the w@nker sign to opposition players when they take aforementioned set piece.
Diving.
Defenders giving the "diving" sign.
Celebrity referees and their over-acted gestures, like exagerratedly pointing to the all of the places a player has previously fouled when getting a yellow card on a totting-up basis.
Racism/Sexism/Ageism t-shirts/banners/laces.
"Back the boyz"
Woooorldy Flames.
Andy Townsend.

[stealthpapes]

Celebrity referees and their over-acted gestures, like exagerratedly pointing to the all of the places a player has previously fouled when getting a yellow card on a totting-up basis.

I was playing against Salford Vic when their striker clattered our defender for the fourth or fifth time, and the referee said "right, that's persistent fouling, yellow card".

His reply?

"Persistent? That's not even a word"

[Platypuss]

If I were a linesman I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides

[Man Friday]

Most fans, including our own.

Imbecilic, boorish, predictable, unoriginal, tiresome, tedious, ignorant. Masters of cliché with herd mentality.

At Derby, board goes up for 6 minutes

Bloke behind me goes "rubbish"
I point out that Morrison was down for 3 minutes and both teams have had 3 subs. That's at least 5 if not the full 6 minutes.
"Well, why is it always only a minute or so in the first half"

No subs maybe?

Jesus. Fucking. Corbett.

mmm. Well clearly the bloke was misinformed but on the other hand this leads in to another one of my football hates...the unwritten "rule". Even if the centre forward had been shot by a sniper and lay dead on the pitch for 20 minutes until his funeral arrangements had been made, there would still be only one minute awarded if the shooting took place in the first half, whereas if the incident occurred in the second half the full 20 minutes would be allowed. The awarding of only one minute of added time in the first half is just one of many unwritten rules. There have been times when more time should be given, usually for injuries but, nope, it's the first half so just one minute extra. Oh okay, he was down for 5 minutes, we'll give an extra minute then, d'oh. But no more, it's only the first half after all.

[Tony Le Mesmer]

Man Friday makes a good point that really annoys me. When was the last time you saw 0 mins added on in the 1st half? It never happens even if there are no stoppages at all. I have no idea why this is.

[Zammo]

If a first half had 0 added minutes, the ref would blow just as the fourth official was about to tell the crowd there were 0 added minutes.

[stealthpapes]

Man Friday makes a good point that really annoys me. When was the last time you saw 0 mins added on in the 1st half? It never happens even if there are no stoppages at all. I have no idea why this is.

I've seen it done on the 45 mark. Recent England game?

Point taken on the unwritten rule though.

[just some bloke]

1. Acronyms such as COYS, COYB etc. Like its some kind of secret code for those who are ITK.

2. People who watch too much non-league football, and 'groundhoppers' who think Stalybridge Celtic and Bampton Village Green count as a 'ground'

3. Premier League footballers and managers who obviously have no interest in what is happening in the three and half professional leagues outside the Premier

4. The absolutely murderous chore that is watching the England football team. Haven't exactly enjoyed an England game in years

5. British fans who think the game in places like Asia or the USA is still basically in its infancy and hasn't progressed since the 70s

6. The utter meaninglessness of the Johnson's Paint Trophy

7. That bloody stupid half sit-down pose the ballboys have to do when holding up the Fifa Fair Play flag on the pitch before the game

8. People who routinely score more than 2,500 points a year on Fantasy Premier League. I mean, how the hell do they do it?

9. Sepp Blatter. What a cunt

10. Chelsea

[genome]

Every chant sung to the Sloop John B tune

[Alexander Litvinenko]

People who go to football and spend their time more interested in the opposition crowd than in the football.

[6ft Kerplunk]

Pre-match handshakes. Utter waste of time.

[No Fixed Abode]

People over the age of say 12 who cry when their team gets beaten.

[southbank1871]

The try-hard Palace 'Ultras'.

The lighting of flares inside British grounds to try to cre8 an intimid8ing atmosphere.

Fans of top 4 clubs (plus Liverpool) who assume you have a lesser knowledge of football because you support a smaller team.

Sky Sports News.

95% of football pundits.

The blatant corruption within FIFA and most likely every football body around the world.

[Badger Finger]

Mentioned on the loves,

But I hate the Ironic cheers when someone scuffs something badly. Makes fans sound schoolkids

[Sanguine]

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah YOU'RE SHIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH! at an opposition goal kick.

Seriously.

[No Fixed Abode]

Fans of top 4 clubs (plus Liverpool) who assume you have a lesser knowledge of football because you support a smaller team.
.

Evidence on the team board would suggest this is true.

[LUX]

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah YOU'RE* SHIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH! at an opposition goal kick.

Seriously.

*your

(nod to Pepe)

[Albert Spangler]

I'm going to hate myself for doing this, but:

1. Adrian Chiles Check
2. Soccer AM check (although it was good 5 years ago )
3. Soulless out of town grounds check
4. Price of football in general check
5. Jester hats check (unless you're a child)
6. Ban on alcohol whilst in your seat check (although I don't see the need to get smashed to watch football - good money after bad)
7. Liverpool FC check. Classless with a victim complex
8. Bands check
9. Fans who go mad about one win when in the scheme of things, it's probably not that important. check
10. Jason Roberts check^check
11. Fleece wearers Nah, sometimes it's cold
12. Shirters Nah, we've all been there.
13. Club/Manager motto's - 'To dare is to do' 'Build, Evolve, Succeed'. Check^check
14. Footballers (specifically young English players) who think they've made the big time, spend far too much time on twitter, getting tattoo's, buying New Era Caps and driving around in their Audi instead of spending extra time on the training ground improving. Check
15. Southern born Liverpool fans who only support the club due to their success in the 80s. Born a decade later, they would have been United fans. *They all deny this though Check
16. West Ham fans who say "We won the World Cup in 66". Check
17. Fans who think it's funny to take inflatables to games. Nah
18. Music after a goal is scored. Check
19. Lack of terracing Check (although I do like to sit down from time to time - my knees aren't what they were)
20. Generic answers by managers/players to questions by the media. check

17/20

[6ft Kerplunk]

Badge kissers.