So once again I am writing to you from a far off land. I know after my footballing pilgrimage that you were hoping that I would remain in Portugal for longer than 56 days but a football managers life is a nomadic one. Almost like a shepherd in those nativity scenes that we enjoyed as children. But this time I have all the gold! Ha!
But never fear. Your clooney will be in your thoughts and I will ensure that I remain in shape for my return in 4 months. I have even bought my own personal trainer with me and for reasons that may be due to the language barrier he now seems to be on a salary of half a million euros. Obrigado!
I am sure that reading fans want their manager to be fit asa good example to the players. And I have the instant respect of the players on that score. The welsh one was paying attention for example .
Good haircuts, indeed hair,seem to have been in short supply for old reading managers but everything is ok on that score. In terms of clothing I will be following my namesake Jose and insisting on zippered ribbed knitwear. I will need to look my best when I am in front of the tv cameras for the game against the world famous Man Utd. I am sure they will welcome another Jose to old Trafford. Wait how long until that game? 14 days. Even I should be fine. Ha!
The announcement concerning my appointment was delayed because the team of communications professionals wanted time to perfect the summary of my achievements to date. I did not think this would take long but they insisted and used one of those lovely English phrases about a sows ear and a silk purse. I did not know what it meant but it was such a friendly phrase. I am in good hands with those wordsmiths.
Already I have met the local journalists who we friendlier than in Portugal. Although the one they call j low tried to talk to me in bad Italian and then asked how to spell my surname three times. Such perfectionists! You and I know how common my name is but here at least half of the people think my surname rhymes with homes as in that famous detective of Baker Street. Ha!
The one on the radio is called Tim. He said he was a tough interviewer but after I raised my eyebrows (just like you like me to
) he started stammering and talking about my charisma. So easy! Can it only be a few days ago that we were enjoying a
cortado and custard tart after some lovely grilled fish and cold glass of vinho verde. I am told that I will be enjoying my first taste of English cuisine when we go to millwall where I will another seafood special by way of jellied eels . I cannot wait . One of the outgoing coaches ‘nigel’ said I must walk into the local tavern in south Bermondsey waving a Portugal flag to get a warm reception from the local people. Obrigado Nigel!
I was asked about my style and I have to admit At first I thought they meant my fashion sense but then I realise it was about tactics. I told them about my love of possession but at this point people started muttering about jaap Stam. Ah yes I replied but that is jaap Stam and I am Jose Gomes! They were speechless I think because there is no answer to that. I am just looking forward to reuniting my good friends ola John and Orlando sa back where they belong.
I must go now as I have insisted on a tour of the local beauty spots and have been promised a trip down the beautiful black water valley and historic oxford road!
Until next time
Your clooney.
