The Mental Health Thread

[The Prisoner]

I moved to Reading in the early 70s at the age of just three months and my dad took my to my first game at the age of four at Elm Park.

We lost, but ever since then I have been addicted and despite moving away in the 80s this is my club and I have followed through thick and thin.

I don't get to go as often as I'd like now - I live in the North West and have a family of my own.

Living up here I was the random person who supports Reading. I'd go to meetings and it would be a talking point amongst the constant stream of United, Citeh, Liverpool and Everton fans that dominate this part of the world. They'd ask which league we were in (wouldn't mind - sometimes it was the same one as them ffs) and I was in a box next to Steven Gerrard's wife when we won at Liverpool in the cup (still dream Jobi scored after the insane run).

I sat with David Seaman on the day that Pardew left in 2003 (he was buying something from my company and bought his wife and children in - they ate an entire box of Victoria biscuits between them) and explained the situation to him and why we felt let down. He didn't event know who Alan Pardew was - true story.

What do I do with the current situation? What do we all do?

Something that was created so randomly, yet so beautifully has been destroyed - dismantled piece by piece - probably starting when SJM left, but into a dramatic tail spin over the last three years.

As I said I can't get to the matches now as often as I'd like, but I follow every moment the best I can in this digital age.

As I have got older I have tried to tell myself it didn't matter, but after today I feel nothing but emptiness. Something that matters to me is in free fall and I can't do anything to stop it.

And that got me thinking as to the thousands of you sat there tonight trying to pretend it is only a game, but not knowing whether to feel angry, sad, embarrassed or just distraught. Probably all of them in some measure. Most of you attend this slow motion unravelling every week and, whilst I feel numb this evening, I can only imagine how those who traveled to Shrewsbury today must be feeling given that this is becoming the norm.

This isn't meant to be a soppy post - I'm probably one of those who feel mental health can be used as an excuse by some, but I've always known that the human mind is susceptible.

Please look out for yourselves. It will get better.

[CountryRoyal]

Good post, definitely not soppy.

Mental health is so important and rightly or wrongly the football club you support is so intrinsically linked to that. It’s not just going to games or even watching them. For most, it’s an almost constant state of thought, thinking about the games, your chances, the highs and lows… etc, it’s all encompassing. Equally it’s not the end of the world but it is more than just a game. Naturally, as one progresses through life and other things become become more important (having a family etc) one can become a little less attached.

When I was diagnosed with stage IV brain cancer earlier this year, my whole world collapsed, yet I was still excited for the new season, I am now mostly apathetic towards us during the game, yet still find myself willing the days to progress until a Tuesday/Sat. Because of everything I don’t get to as many games as recent years but as a 31 year old who had recently qualified for the job of his dreams in a relatively highly paid industry, after significant investment and half a decade of training, my mental health is shot to shit yet I still look forward (somehow) to each game, and despite how appalling it is guaranteed to be, in some ways more than before.

When I had less to care about, I was more passionate about us. It never leaves though.

Tl;Dr
Cancer and bottom of league one in the same year, ain’t life a bitch.

[Jackson Corner]

I just lost my mum to cancer. And that caps what has been a terrible year. I lost my job am waiting for an operation which has left me unable to get out and unable to get to games or even the pub. Ed Sheehan has a new album and is rumoured to be unbreakable. And my beloved Royals are bottom and facing an uncertain future. But I always try to smile through it as life is short. So whatever your situation remember there is always someone worse off than yourself.

[Brogue]

save it for mumsnet yeah. Jfc

[LUX]

Some well-thought out posts here, summarising how many of us feel

[Millsy]

Good post, definitely not soppy.

Mental health is so important and rightly or wrongly the football club you support is so intrinsically linked to that. It’s not just going to games or even watching them. For most, it’s an almost constant state of thought, thinking about the games, your chances, the highs and lows… etc, it’s all encompassing. Equally it’s not the end of the world but it is more than just a game. Naturally, as one progresses through life and other things become become more important (having a family etc) one can become a little less attached.

When I was diagnosed with stage IV brain cancer earlier this year, my whole world collapsed, yet I was still excited for the new season, I am now mostly apathetic towards us during the game, yet still find myself willing the days to progress until a Tuesday/Sat. Because of everything I don’t get to as many games as recent years but as a 31 year old who had recently qualified for the job of his dreams in a relatively highly paid industry, after significant investment and half a decade of training, my mental health is shot to shit yet I still look forward (somehow) to each game, and despite how appalling it is guaranteed to be, in some ways more than before.

When I had less to care about, I was more passionate about us. It never leaves though.

Tl;Dr
Cancer and bottom of league one in the same year, ain’t life a bitch.

Wtf I didn't know this. So sorry to hear this mate. Operable? Curable?

[Millsy]

I just lost my mum to cancer.

Sorry to read that dude.

[Royal_jimmy]

I just lost my mum to cancer. And that caps what has been a terrible year. I lost my job am waiting for an operation which has left me unable to get out and unable to get to games or even the pub. Ed Sheehan has a new album and is rumoured to be unbreakable. And my beloved Royals are bottom and facing an uncertain future. But I always try to smile through it as life is short. So whatever your situation remember there is always someone worse off than yourself.

Sorry to hear that. You'll pull through!

When football is a way to escape from the stresses and difficulties in your week and the gross incompetence served up from the team and manager it's pushing everyone to the limit.

I go to almost every game and yesterday it was a bit like Charlton, fans arguing and purely toxic. It's like we're blaming each other for the mess on the pitch when it should be vented at Dai

[Snowflake Royal]

This too shall pass.

Better days are on their way and we'll enjoy them more after this reality check and abysmal period.

Or the club will fold and we'll all find something better to do. Either way, it'll get better soon enough.

[Royal Rother]

I would imagine I’m not alone, but I have to say, reading CR’s and JC’s posts affects me more than the current position the football club is in.

[AthleticoSpizz]

That^

Cannot lie, my (and my families) darkest days coincided with the Steve Coppell era and the upturn of the club.

Fukkin’ helped a lot

[Norfolk Royal]

I was planning to have one tin of Ghost Ship on Saturday night but after hearing the result I upped the ante and had two.

[Green]

:| save it for mumsnet yeah. Jfc

Yes if you do need somewhere to turn to, here is not it.

[Green]

I was planning to have one tin of Ghost Ship on Saturday night but after hearing the result I upped the ante and had two.

A nice drop but unusually for me it's an ale that gives me hangovers. Probably because I drink too much of it LOL.

[CountryRoyal]

Wtf I didn't know this. So sorry to hear this mate. Operable? Curable?

Thanks Millsy.. yeah so I had the surgery a week after my initial MRI then then after a month moved to another hospital where I had radiation for a couple of months, then came home, small break and had chemo until literally today 1.5 hrs left! Initially my oncologist wanted to do until may or so but she advised me to stop. There is next to no data on it as it’s so rare in adults so it’s mostly guessing work, the surgery and the radio should have done most of it. 5 year survival rate is ~70% so not bad at all, but again it a very small sample size.

The physical stuff will be hard to get over (if even possible) but the mental battle will be the biggest for sure.

[CountryRoyal]

This too shall pass.

Better days are on their way and we'll enjoy them more after this reality check and abysmal period.

Or the club will fold and we'll all find something better to do. Either way, it'll get better soon enough.

I love this, I’m also obsessed with Churchill’s “if you’re going through hell, don’t stop”.

Thank you all for nice words but yeah let’s focus on the football on the Tb as shocking as it is.

[NathStPaul]

Very wary of anyone who uses a public forum or social media to advertise their mental health issues. If you are that comfortable to speak about it then use professionals for help rather than random mongs.

I think there are a lot of people out there who post publicly about their struggles on social media for likes and attention, it gives those who are genuinely struggling a bad name. Not suggesting the OP is doing that btw, more a broader point. It is those who suffer in silence that need the help the most. Check on your friends if you haven't heard from them in a while, check on your work colleagues if they seem withdrawn.

[Brogue]

Very wary of anyone who uses a public forum or social media to advertise their mental health issues. If you are that comfortable to speak about it then use professionals for help rather than random mongs.

I think there are a lot of people out there who post publicly about their struggles on social media for likes and attention, it gives those who are genuinely struggling a bad name. Not suggesting the OP is doing that btw, more a broader point. It is those who suffer in silence that need the help the most. Check on your friends if you haven't heard from them in a while, check on your work colleagues if they seem withdrawn.

or take it to mums net where you might get a few 'u ok hun's' out of it

[CountryRoyal]

Very wary of anyone who uses a public forum or social media to advertise their mental health issues. If you are that comfortable to speak about it then use professionals for help rather than random mongs.

I think there are a lot of people out there who post publicly about their struggles on social media for likes and attention, it gives those who are genuinely struggling a bad name. Not suggesting the OP is doing that btw, more a broader point. It is those who suffer in silence that need the help the most. Check on your friends if you haven't heard from them in a while, check on your work colleagues if they seem withdrawn.

Not like you say anything to take notice of, but for the sake of a few lols….

Could it ever be apparent to you that it’s part of a process? That for almost a whole year the only people that knew were my family and girlfriend, her family and handful of my closest friends. I want to let more people know because they would want to but it’s terrifying it’s a confidence thing. I also want to turn this horrendous thing into something positive however possible.

Thanks for your insight though.

[NathStPaul]

Thanks for sharing. Please take a lollipop.