They alway remind me of the "tablecloths"that Quick Turnover used to have in the greengrocer shop.
WTF is wrong with grass - just how much can you save in salaries for groundsmen?
Artificial pitches could make a shock comeback if some Football League clubs get their way.
They were banned in 1988 because of complaints they caused injuries and that the quality of football played on them was poor.
Now Wycombe and Accrington are among two clubs keen to reintroduce them in a bid to cut costs and increase revenue.
"Within 10 years, we will see quite a number of pitches," insisted Wycombe vice-chairman Brian Kane.
Accrington chief executive Rob Heys added: "There's been a change of opinion recently. There is an appetite for them."
Luton Town, Oldham Athletic, Preston North End and Queen's Park Rangers all possessed artificial pitches until they were outlawed by the Football Association in the late 1980s, although Preston continued to use theirs until the end of the 1993-94 season.
Since then, technology has advanced significantly and a number of top-flight clubs in Italy, France, the Netherlands, Switzerland and Russia now play on artificial pitches.
Several lower-division sides in Scotland use them as well, while the FA permits their use in such competitions as the FA Trophy, FA Vase and Women's Premier League.
These hi-tech pitches are approved by world governing body Fifa, while Uefa, which runs football in Europe, allows Champions League ties to be played on artificial surfaces.
England were beaten 2-1 by Russia in a Euro 2008 qualifying game at the Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow, while Tottenham Hotspur met Swiss side Young Boys in a Champions League play-off game in 2010.