Floyd's football rule book

[creative_username_1]

You're taught to cheat early on in football. Claim for throw-ins etc you've no idea but you're gonna shout for it

No fouling the goalkeeper at throw-ins

If you score a goal the ball is in the other teams possession don't go into the net and start fighting over it

[No Fixed Abode]

Please don't abolish the back pass rule. Liverpool haven't won the league since before it's inception.

[sandman]

10 game ban for any player who even thinks about taking a short corner, they never (obviously they do sometimes, but very rarely) succeed.

Instant red for any player, read Danny Guthrie, who has a Mohican.

[parky]

I'd remove the offside rule completely.

Plus, change the stupid rules for the coin toss. The captain that wins the toss should be able to decide whether he wants kick off not just which end he wants.

Oh, and a straight red for any player that asks a referee how much time is left within 5 mins of another player asking.

[sandman]

Yellow card to any sub who isn't already wearing the correct kit and able to come on as soon as he takes his track suit top off.

Happened to Scott Taylor once where he had a t-shirt on rather than the hoops. Got sent down to get the proper shirt and was given a whack round the back of the head by McGhee on the way.

[soggy biscuit]

free kick moved back 5 yards if any player decides, having already been told exactly where it should be taken from, that it is ok to throw it forward a bit further as he is putting some backspin on it

[Platypuss]

If I were a linesman I'd execute defenders who applauded my offsides.

[6ft Kerplunk]

free kick moved back 5 yards if any player decides, having already been told exactly where it should be taken from, that it is ok to throw it forward a bit further as he is putting some backspin on it

I'd move the wall 5 yards closer to where the freekick is taken rather than moving the free kick back.

[Hoop Blah]

Yellow card to any sub who isn't already wearing the correct kit and able to come on as soon as he takes his track suit top off.

Happened to Scott Taylor once where he had a t-shirt on rather than the hoops. Got sent down to get the proper shirt and was given a whack round the back of the head by McGhee on the way.

Even worse for, I think, Joey Barton. He was about to make his debut as a teenager at Man City (I think away to 'Boro) when he realised a fan had nicked his shirt from the back of the dug out or something.

He didn't come on and wasn't involved again for another 6 months or so.

Agree with the rest of these rule changes. Might sort the game out a bit.

[RG30]

Players who refuse to celebrate against former clubs should also be named and shamed.

[Brum Royal]

If I were a linesman I'd execute defenders who applauded my offsides.

I think this rule would have impacted on George Graham's Arsenal team more than most of the others suggested in this thread.

[leon]

Getting tactile with the referee - yellow card.

Being a c unt and then getting away with it by patting the ref on the arse - 3 match ban. (Kevin Nolan that means you)

[Bandini]

Substitutes warming up who celebr8 a goal - 3 match ban. You're not good enough to be on the pitch, you don't get to join in.

[stealthpapes]

Substitutes warming up who celebr8 a goal - 3 match ban. You're not good enough to be on the pitch, you don't get to join in.

Taken out and shot, presumably.

[Schards#2]

My genuine suggestions would be to implement two rules stringently at the start of next season:

1. Give penalties for the sort of crap that goes on at every set piece

2. 5 match ban for players who, on review, are shown to have dived in order for a penalty to be awarded or for an opponent to be sent off.

The season would be a shambles for the first 4-5 games but, thereafter, the game would be better for it as both these atrocities would stop

[glass half full]

Red card for player proven to be engaging in simulation, attempting to get defender sent off and win a spurious penalty. Follow this with a penalty to other side.

[Royal Ginger]

A fistful of shirt regardless of how innocuous should always be treated as a deliberate foul.

[peterroyal76]

My genuine suggestions would be to implement two rules stringently at the start of next season:

1. Give penalties for the sort of crap that goes on at every set piece

2. 5 match ban for players who, on review, are shown to have dived in order for a penalty to be awarded or for an opponent to be sent off.

The season would be a shambles for the first 4-5 games but, thereafter, the game would be better for it as both these atrocities would stop

100% agree with you on the first point.

[King of Sting]

Lifetime ban for anyone who is suspended for a cup final going up to collect the cup in full kit including shin pads.

[Bandini]

Substitutes warming up who celebr8 a goal - 3 match ban. You're not good enough to be on the pitch, you don't get to join in.

Taken out and shot, presumably.

What a photo!