Rodgers is still the right man

[Ian Royal]

Well.. if the question is whether or not we have turned a corner or not, I think the answer is 'no'.
If we get 10 good results, by that I mean we should amass around 16-20 points in the next 10 matches, then yes, we would have turned a corner.
If we are still in the same league position, then no, we have not turned a corner.

What makes you conclude we have turned a corner? I am very curious, because our league position is not indicative of anything other than Rodgers' failure.

Tell me, how hard did you have tro work to become this morononic?

I think we are turning a corner. As 4 good performances in a row might suggest. As a 3 game unbeaten run with two wins might suggest.

This season was all about finishing mid-table. We've done very badly to start with. We'd have to be a much better team to just turn it around in the space of one or two matches and climb straight out of the mire without looking back.

We're weak in several areas and very inexperienced in places too. Stay up and the future looks positive, which I think we can and will do. But it'll be close for a while yet.

[floyd__streete]

On the evidence of what I have seen thus far this season I'd say we are absolute certs to be in the relegatiin mix up; we rarely keep clean sheets, we score too few goals, we don't have the nous or organisation to defend a lead.

If we are to be in a relegation scrap would our chances not be improved with an experienced head in charge?

[winchester_royal]

On the evidence of what I have seen thus far this season I'd say we are absolute certs to be in the relegatiin mix up; we rarely keep clean sheets, we score too few goals, we don't have the nous or organisation to defend a lead.

If we are to be in a relegation scrap would our chances not be improved with an experienced head in charge?

Obviously it depends on who that experienced head is.

[Royalee]

On the evidence of what I have seen thus far this season I'd say we are absolute certs to be in the relegatiin mix up; we rarely keep clean sheets, we score too few goals, we don't have the nous or organisation to defend a lead.

If we are to be in a relegation scrap would our chances not be improved with an experienced head in charge?

Not really floyd - you usually talk sense so I'm surprised you came up with such a statement given the experience his predecessor had and what happened less than two years ago.

[Royal Lady]

On the evidence of what I have seen thus far this season I'd say we are absolute certs to be in the relegatiin mix up; we rarely keep clean sheets, we score too few goals, we don't have the nous or organisation to defend a lead.

If we are to be in a relegation scrap would our chances not be improved with an experienced head in charge?

Not really floyd - you usually talk sense so I'm surprised you came up with such a statement given the experience his predecessor had and what happened less than two years ago.

Yet this same man also took us to our highest league position EVER - or are you never going to admit that??

[Ian Royal]

On the evidence of what I have seen thus far this season I'd say we are absolute certs to be in the relegatiin mix up; we rarely keep clean sheets, we score too few goals, we don't have the nous or organisation to defend a lead.

If we are to be in a relegation scrap would our chances not be improved with an experienced head in charge?

Obviously it depends on who that experienced head is.

And how long it takes to get them in.

[Royalee]

Royalee plays Football Manager at RFC...


1. Arrive in job, informing the press that it was always my destiny to be in charge of such a prestigious club. I will make sure the players respect my presence and will be looking to play some sensible, entertaining attacking football.

2. I immediately transfer list Shane Long, David Mooney, James Harper, Jimmy Kebe and release John Fearn from his contract by mutual consent (we both agree he is shit). Nigel Gibbs is also released from his position as it is decided he doesn't really do anything.

3. New physio appointed on a lower wage.

4. Making use of my second hand Blackberry Sir John's kindly provided (apparently it used to be Coppell's), I give Adie Williams a call to see what he's doing these days. Having seen how woeful our defending of set pieces is and that our defence needs organising, we decide he can come back to the club as defensive coach. During a gin and tonics sesh at the hotel, Adie then informs me that he hears Swindon Town are interested in Kebe so we agree to sell him to the silly swines for £200k. Jimmy welcomes the move to the rural Westcountry by declaring 'zis is just like France'.

5. Sir John allows me to sign Matt Mills for £2 million so long as he can stand on the soap box he keeps behind his desk raising two fingers in the air shouting 'THIS SIGNING DEMONSTRATES OUR AMBITION TO BECOME A TOP PREMIER LEAGUE CLUB!' I quietly turn to Adie and whisper 'has he always been like this?!' Adie turns, smiles and nods.

6. Karl Halabi comes into my office and says that although the fitness work is going to plan on the whole, he has some concerns about Shane Long. Apparently he's been out on the lash in Dublin celebrating his new status as 'Reading's number 9' and has grown accustomed to Guinness and Pork Scratchings thrice daily as part of his strict new diet. I thank Karl for his honesty and as a special treat I ask him if he fancies coming over for a few glasses of Jack Daniels and a comedy night this evening - we will be watching Shane Long's 2008/9 season review.

7. The next day we go for training at Hogwood - I get Dean Austin to drive me there as I'm feeling a bit fragile after last night...what a night it was though. While we're on our way, Dean asks 'can you hear something?'...we pause...'BLOODY HELL, IT'S THE THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE THEME! WHY HAVE YOU GONE AND PUT THAT ON DEANO, CHRIS MOYLES IS ON?!' Dean points to my pocket and we look at each-other...'oohh...must've been Ringo's old ringtone and John forgot to change it'. I pick up the phone...it's Kevin Blackwell. 'Alright Lee, How are you settling into your new job?'
'Get to the point Kevin, I don't have time to chat'
'Oh right...well...Steve never let me have him because he made him captain at the time...but...any chance of us having James Harper?'
'How much are you willing to offer Kevin?'
'Well, what would you suggest as a starting point for a man of such talents?'
'£500k? He's quite an important player for us Kevin and he can banter and stuff, y'know'
'That sounds like an excellent deal for us Lee, you sure?'
'Done, bye Kevin.'

8. Training was alright today considering, but some guy I never even knew played for us called David Mooney kept giving it the big one and telling me he was the new Kevin Doyle. I gave him a bit of a chance to impress in training, but he was shit - all talk. 'You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips' I say, to which he takes offence and tells me 'SELL ME TO F*CKING NORWICH THEN, THEY LOVE ME UP THERE!' I phone Norwich, but apparently they have a new manager who's improved them recently and has also seen Mooney a few times. 'Sorry Lee, you can keep him, he's crap' says Paul Lambert. I sell him to Charlton a few days later for £100k.

9. I ask Noel Hunt how he's getting on after he went to see a specialist the day I removed Fearn from his role. He seems to be doing alright - his new Twitter page is giving him something to do and is the talk of the dressing room. He says the specialist has told him he'll be back in 2-3 months, so I decide we need to bring in a few strikers but reassure him he's still in my future plans.

10. After a day's deliberation, I pluck up the courage to call Watford's penis of a chairman Jimmy Russo. He asks me if I'd like to pay £1.5 million for 30 year-old Tommy Smith to which I piss my pants with laughter. 'Sorry Jimmy, but perhaps Portsmouth might be interested - I hear they've got lots of money these days' I tell him. The conversation progresses and I tell him I'm on the lookout for a decent winger. After Russo makes some unfunny jokes and tries to get me to go round Elton's House for some pink champagne which I decline, we agree a deal for Reading to sign Jobi McAnuff.

11. I get to meet Jobi and am pleased that he seems a genuinely nice bloke and can actually play professional football unlike Kebe. He agrees we need more options up front and puts me in touch with Grzegorz Rasiak. I phone Alan Pardew up and commend him on his 'rape' comment on Match Of The Day last season, before enquiring as to Rasiak's availability. Alan informs me that he's willing to let him go, but is a bit short out wide at the moment and would ideally like someone younger to take over from Rasiak. I agree to loan him Antonio for the season and for them to pay us £200k plus Grzegorz Rasiak for Shane Long - the clincher for me was when I informed him that yes, Long is even fatter than Darius Henderson, which impressed Pards immensely - 'now that's dedication!' he piped up.



Part 2 to come later on...

[Ryn]

Lee in entertaining post shocker.

[Ian Royal]

Royalee's best post EVER.

[Terminal Boardom]

Ths is Sue Townsend territory. Brilliant stuff!

[rhroyal]

Can I just interrupt the debate for a moment? This is the most posts one of my threads had ever received. Controversy is the way forward. Now to start a thread outlining how a good performance against Sheff Wed can slow the spread of AIDS.

[Thaumagurist*]

Part 2 to come later on...

Not reading all of that, so I wouldn't bother.

[rhroyal]

Part 2 to come later on...

Not reading all of that, so I wouldn't bother.

It's actually pretty good if you read. I know it's surprising. It's like reading seeing a book "Trigonometry for Dummies - by Paris Hilton". You're not going to believe it at first, but worth a read.

[Royalee]

12. Having brought in Ryan Bertrand on loan for the season I feel I now have enough strength at left back, but right back still concerns me. I speak to Ryan and Frank Lampard Snr after training and Shaun Cummings' name comes up. I decide to go and watch him play a friendly for West Brom against Accrington Stanley...Accrington win 5-1 with all goals coming down Cummings' side. I decide that as much fun as a Lemar lookalike might be at the Christmas party once a year, I couldn't really justify his wages. Besides, we already have Frank to play Santa, which will provide enough excitement as it is.

13. After turning down the option of signing Cummings, I begin to look through the Blackberry, but the contacts are all for lower league French teams. I begin to wonder if our scouting system is up to scratch given Cisse, Fae and Kebe haven't exactly set the world alight and the antics of that little upstart Mooney. Arsenal usually have loads of kids wandering around so I phone up Wenger and enquire as to whether I can loan Gavin Hoyte for the season. We agree that I can have him and some winger called Nacer Barazite who's supposed to be pretty decent. I thank Arsene and as a special favour I remind him where the stands are at Old Trafford so that he knows where to sit the next time he's sent off instead of floundering around behind the benches with a look of confusion on his face.

14. Hmm, strikers I ponder...but first is first, after feeling bad about the Cummings affair, Frank has asked me if I fancy a jolly-up at Harry Redknapp's gaff in Sandbanks. Apparently Kevin Bond and Jamie'll be there too and Louise is bringing her friends - some world class models. I bring down a case of Magners - Frank and Kev like my style but Harry's pretty old school and suggests that I'm 'taking a f*cking liberty with this new age trendy cider piss in a glass' and scowls at me as he cracks out the port. We soon patch things up though when we uncover our mutual hatred for all things Fratton Park and their 'ungrateful bastard' fans. He asks me how things are going with Reading and I'm grateful for his interest, letting him know that we're in a bit of a transition at the moment and desperately lacking in firepower. Harry says I can have Pavlyuchenko if I like, calling him a 'crap Russian version of Emile Heskey, but could do a job at that level', but we decide wages could be a problem...


Part 3 later, where the striking problem will be solved...

[zummerset]

Good stuff RL

[Royalee]

Part 2 to come later on...

Not reading all of that, so I wouldn't bother.

I wouldn't bother existing if I were you.

[Ian Royal]

As is the way with sequals I found part two disappointing.

I'm hoping part three won't follow the trend of Matrix and Pirates of the Carribbean whereby I'd rather suck Spacey off than have to suffer through the third installment.

[SteveRoyal]

As is the way with sequals I found part two disappointing.

I'm hoping part three won't follow the trend of Matrix and Pirates of the Carribbean whereby I'd rather suck Spacey off than have to suffer through the third installment.

Gayboy.

[Wimb]

kutgw Royalee

BUT CAN U TELZ ME WHAT 4MATION U R USIN COS MINE R WELL SHITE?!!? :(:(:(!!!11!!1!11!!

[Royalee]

15. The party is going well, Louise's world class models are well fit and I begin to fancy my chances after my 7th or 8th Magners...but alas my chances are ruined when Jamie scares everyone off with one of his football discussions. He rolls out a flip chart in the middle of the garden and starts getting rather excited, so Harry sends him up to his room and tells Louise to tuck him in because he's scared all the birds away. I get talking to Kevin Bond - apparently he knows Pearcey, Jem and James Henry from when he took them on loan at Bournemouth a couple of years back. Whilst stopping short of the ridiculous claims that Alex is the new John Terry, we agree he's developing into a decent player and I think Kevin for the good work he must have done with him down there. Once again the striker topic comes up and Bond appears to have a solution - there's this guy Brett Pitman who he had down at Dean Court who's been banging in the goals, apparently he's only 21. I tell him I want someone with the right DNA and will only sign the right player and can't pay him much because Sir John's got Cilla's birthday coming up soon and wants to give her a special surprise surprise. Apparently this Pitman guy's a bit of a link striker which is good, please he takes set pieces, which is handy I suppose and Bondy grabs Harry's laptop and lets me youtube him. I tell him this is all well and good but Emerse Fae looks good on youtube and he's dogshit, but nevertheless I take Eddie Howe's number and arrange to take a look at Brett.

16. I'm too hungover to take training the next day and wake up a bit flustered - I don't want to seem unprofessional as I'm new to the job, but Frank comes up with a stroke of genius at the breakfast table. We'll just tell Karl to get the lads to do some fitness work as it's still pre-season and he can organise a pool tournament for them in the afternoon for banter and stuff. Apparently Bournemouth have a friendly this evening so we'll have a quick trip to Harry Ramsdens by the beach to sort our heads out, play a bit of crazy golf then get over to the game. Pitman has a decent game and I'm impressed that he can run, hold the ball up, has a first touch and can finish - bloody amazing he is. I go over to Eddie and have a word...he says Pitman's his best player and doesn't want to lose him, but cash is tight due to these hard economic times and he has bank loan repayments and stuff - I tell him I'm fully aware of the situation and knows how he feels. I suggest we'll take Brett for £400k, which is a fair price, but in addition I'll send Nicholas Bignall down for the season to ease their striking worries. I refer Eddie to the comments of a footballing guru known to many simply as Ideal, who recommends him as world class - Eddie is now sold on the idea and it's a done deal.

17. When I get back to Hogwood the next day I receive a call from Marcus Hahnemann. Once I eventually manage to shut him up I ask him how Doyler's settling into his new home, apparently he's mixing well with some of the lads of there and Big Mick McCarthy. I ask him if Mick's about as I'm pretty bored with his complaining that it looks like he'll be second choice keeper up there this season and won't play, so won't be able to write another book about his Premiership experiences. Mick seems in good spirits - apparently he's signed Greg Halford and Andrew Surman in addition to Doyle and looks set to add a few more in the coming days. I ask Mick how he's able to sign all these players as his wages must be going through the roof - 'well, I'd like to offload on or two, but then again we're not paying anyone £25k a week just yet!' ...we both chuckle. He asks me if I've got any season long loans left...I've brought in Bertrand, Hoyte and Barazite so I reckon I've got one left. Come to think of it I'd probably still like to bring in another target man - replacing someone of the calibre of Shane Long is no small task. Mick points me in the way of Sam Vokes, who I've liked whenever I've seen - he adds that Leeds have been sniffing around for him but he's not sure hanging around up there will improve his intelligence in the long run so says we can have him with the option to buy at the end of the season all things being well as he knows Sir John's watching the pennies. Sam's delighted at the news and can't wait to link up with his mate Churchy from the Wales squad and Brett from his time at Dean Court.

Part 4 when I can be bothered...